Saturday, March 8, 2008

Gratitude or 'Thank you for the useless gift?'

See this little baby hat?

This is a little hat that I lovingly knitted for a former co-worker. I had also purchased little hand-crocheted little flowers that I sewed on, in one cluster, on the hat and even if I have to say so myself- it looked like something adorable that you'd find a fancy smancy baby boutique. I had also showed it to a few people and they all did the involuntary cries of 'oooh, how cute!', when they saw the hat.

I had received a Christmas card with the news that she was expecting a little girl this spring. I knew that California didn't have really cold weather- especially not in San Diego.. but, I also figured that at night and/or for outings along the water- a simple knitted acrylic hat (not wool) would be a useful item for a new baby. AND, I would assume that the baby 'might travel' elsewhere too? I made it large enough to wear for the entire first couple of winters. I also mentioned in my 'Congratulations' card, that I enclosed with my gift, that I knew that it wouldn't get very cold in California.. and as a result I had not knitted the hat out of wool- but, instead chose soft acrylic yarn for the hat.

*Yes, I am aware of the climate of our American states- I know the zones with four seasons, which areas have more temperate temperatures, but even in one state the temperature can vary vastly, etc.. but, I also know that I see 'famous people' in LA show in photos wearing hats, scarves, and coats as if it were COLD in LA too!

This week, I received a thank you note. It says and I quote:

Dear_________________, (iwouldratherbeknitting)

Thank you for the cute baby hat! "Heidi" (not the baby's real name) won't need it until we move to a colder climate. San Diego is pretty nice
. *The moving wouldn't happen for at least 2-3 years because of her husband's job.

Now, while I do appreciate that she sent a 'thank you note'.. because, it's always nice to know that a package made it through the postal system without being damaged or lost.. when I read it a second time.. I just didn't feel that it was much of a 'thank you note'..

I mean.. they probably won't be moving for another 2-3 years to a new location (hat will be too small by then to wear in the new 'colder climate').

AND.. if nothing else.. just simply say.. oh, the color is adorable and will look so cute on our future daughter, how kind of you to take the time to knit our new daughter a hat and we will treasure it, I can't believe that you took the time to knit a hat, the hat looks like something you'd buy in a store, how thoughtful of you to remember our upcoming addition to our family, the hat is so cute-- and the flowers just add the just right 'girl' touch, or something to that effect.

AND, the kicker? She knows how to knit.. simple knit and purl. I had helped her with her knitting before she left.

So, I'm sad to say.. the second time that I read the card.. I realized it basically said something along these lines.. but, maybe she didn't mean it to sound that way?

Thank you for the cute, but useless baby hat.

hee hee..

Of course, maybe I just read the intent of the message wrong? However, I just think that so many other options of 'thank you' that could have been said, even if you hated the hat, thought it was stupid, etc,.. other than the way it was written.

Oh well, I knitted it with a good heart and just knew that any baby girl would look cute in a little hat that looks a little like a flower.. w/ little flowers on the brim, and could be used at some point or other?? Or just stashed on a baby doll in the future?

Edited to add:
I forgot to mention that a tiny part of me, did want to write back, and say something along these lines.. "I'm sorry that my gift will be so useless, please feel free to donate it to a hospital, a homeless shelter, a battered woman's shelter, or even to this address (provided in the message) to those in Afghanistan who will certainly find the hat more useful.

PS: The hat is a soft lavender.. I knitted it a girl color-- because the Christmas card let me know that they were going to have a baby girl.
I'm sorry, about the photo quality.. I took it with a flash.. (and you know what that does to color?) because- it's often dark when I get home from work. I apologize for not mentioning the color in my post. :|

So, what do you think? Rude or not?


Miss Hannah said...

I think the hat is adorable, and there should have been at least one way of saying 'thank you' better than that. Is this baby never going to travel? Hmph. Maybe not rude, but unthinking.

The Knitting Gnome said...

I think when baby arrives, she will discover that the hat is useful even in a nice climate. Babies can't regulate their body heat, and even in warm climates they need hats for the first few weeks.

The thank you note is a bit "back handed", but I wouldn't worry. I think they will find it useful. It is very cute!

Rebecca Jo said...

Oh - I have a relatable story! I knitted up my friend some socks for Christmas - she made me something that she does for a hobby. I loved my gift - assumed she'd love hers as well - she never said a WORD about those socks! Then recently, she told me, "You know - I just dont like knitted socks"!!!! - how would you take that one?

I understand your frustration! There's alot of work in projects & to have someone "thank" you like that - I want to say, just give it back

iwouldratherbeknitting said...

Oh, I forgot to mention that.. I did felt like sending a little response in the mail.. something along these lines..

I'm so sorry that you find my hand-knitted baby hat so useless.. because, I found it chilly in San Franscisco, as an adult, even in the summer time.

So, please feel free to donate the hat to a homeless shelter, a hospital, or even to this address (provided in the message: of course) for the Afghans in Afganistans.........

Yes, it was a 'back handed' comment-- especially since she does know how to knit... and knows how much work it takes.

Anonymous said...

Yes, it was back handed and certainly not the level of gratitude the gift warranted. I'm very sorry that you're beautiful gift was met with such lack of appreciation. If you'd care to make another one and send it to me, I'll write you an appropriate thank you note! (wink!)

Like someone said, when baby arrives, she might find it more useful than she thinks right now. Also, speaking from experience, pregnancy makes you a little nuts. Having done it three times, sometimes I look back and wonder how I have any friends left.

You have every right to feel put off but if you can find it in you to give her the benefit of the doubt and chalk it up to hormones run amok, I would suggest that.

lilypad2008 said...

I can't believe she didn't like the hat! Maybe she didn't like the color blue. My sister-in-law was so upset when I offered to buy her daughter something in blue and green. She was all about having a girl, not a boy, and that her daughter was not going to wear boy colors. So maybe that is what bothered her. Either way, it is a very nice hat. :)

iwouldratherbeknitting said...

The hat is actually lavender.. a very 'girly' color.. w/ ruffles at the edge.

It just looks blue because of having to use a flash.. because, I'm often not home before it's dark..

So, it wasn't the hat color.. and the co-worker wore 'pinks, purples/etc.' when she worked where I do- before she moved.

Susan said...

And that's why I don't knit for some people!

Mandi (a.k.a MissMandiGirl) said...

*sigh* adorable Hat hun, Things like this Thank you card you recieved are reasons why I for now only knit for my kids and people who ask for something... I couldn't handle the rejection..

iwouldratherbeknitting said...

Thanks all.. I appreciate 'the being in my corner' on this.. or shall I say.. you share my same 'disbelief'.. about the card.

Anonymous said...

That was a very ungrateful response to your lovely gift!